Sometimes I fly off the handle...not crazy off the handle but it definitely hits the fan...I usually internalize my stuff but sometimes I will give warning to my company before it gets too hot.
Myles is almost my exact match but a little more dramatic (in my opinion don't ask my husband for his though). Let's talk about our ability to go from a 2 to a 10 on the "losing my cool as a cucumber status" scale if you get us at the right moment.
Explosions happen sometimes.
I'm ok with this for the most part-everyone should have a right to express their feelings right?
We have a few things that we remind him of before and in the midst of his explosions and the techniques that I try to incorporate into my everyday living also (shameless):
1. It's ok to get mad just remember to respect other people- aka don't hurt anyone and this includes yourself...we never tell them not to cry but often ask the question if the issue at hand is really worth all the tears (once the moment has almost past of course).
2. Control- "Please control yourself brother!" I have observed in my life and the lives of others that I've grown with that an angry man with no composure is a war waiting to happen while an angry man with composure is a passionate man on the brink of great things. (I wonder if I practiced more if Mrs. Wing would consider me as one of her writers? #random)
3. Breathe I would have to say I learned this from Poko breathing is our version of the "Hug a monkey hug him tight, hug him til you feel alright!" This might be wrong on our side as I am not the best at reading on parenting techniques for rearing children but will not hesitate to admit I have learned a thing or two (or three) from some good children's animation (thanks @kidscbc). My kids are encouraged not to tell us their take on things until they catch their breath or can take at least three huge breathes without choking on their saliva, snot and or tears.
I've been reading my past posts and they seem pretty "outside looking in-ish" when it comes to my family, the behaviour of my kids and my relationships- but honestly we're just doing us and I try to write from a place of appreciation and gain some perspective from all of our lives together. More specifically- what you read is the whole truth but not our entire experience. Parts of random weeks which consist of random days that are composed of random moments ;).
I try to get these times down in front of me as a point of reference or better a memory in script that I can look back on and really build on for the future.
So earlier this week I was in the living room at our place with 2/3 children and I promise I must have cleaned up the same toys in the span of 15 minutes about 7 times.
Me: "Honestly, brother!...I'm about to get really grumpy...like really grumpy...I keep picking up this stuff because I can't walk anywhere and I'm going to hurt myself. I know you and Salome are ok with this- but man!- I'm gonna get mad or get hurt can we please just keep the stuff in the box if we are not going to play with it?- like you do in school?...I'm about to lose it Myles..." (exasperated)
Myles: "It's ok if you get mad Mom, I can understand that. Just remember to always be yourself!" (kisses me on face)
Sweetheart right?- you're exactly correct and his empathy sleighed my dragon yesterday- I'm not sure if it was a bad attitude I picked up on the way home from work or me just being over tired or something?...anything?
What I really wanted was for them to pick up the stuff but I got a dose of my own medicine and once again I have been successfully rebuked by my kids and put in my "proverbial" place.
(the end of the illustration is I shut up and stubbed my toe twice before banishing them to the boys' room)
I'm learning (often the hard way) that it is so super duper important to chill sometimes and am continually being encouraged all the more to fill my kids and just my life and the things that i commit my heart to with good things. At the end of the day when the squeeze is put on us the only thing that is going to come out is what we have stored up inside.
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